How to network without actually networking
It's easier than you might think
This week, we’re looking at how to network without actually networking. Let’s face it, who wants to go to a windowless Hilton for a few hours of stilted conversation with people you have nothing in common with? Not me, that’s for sure. As someone who needs to network on a regular basis for my work, I have literally never been to a ‘traditional’ networking event, which is a good sign. Let’s think about the point of networking. We love to hate it — (omg are we allowed to use em dashes any more? I promise ChatGPT didn’t write this) but boil it down, and all networking really involves is meeting and nurturing your relationships with interesting people.
Luckily, there are a bunch of not-that-annoying ways to do this, with various levels of effort required.
Very low effort: send a message
Let’s start small. As a big advocate of something is better than nothing, both in networking and in life in general, sending a DM to someone you know is a good place to start. Back to the definition of networking: meeting and nurturing your relationships with interesting people. The lowest effort approach here is to pick someone you haven’t seen for a while, but with whom you have an existing relationship. Send them a message on your platform of choice, whether that’s responding to something they posted recently, sharing an interesting article, or simply checking in to see how they are. This has the handy effect of reminding them that you exist, and helps to build a bond that deepens over time, as long as you keep nurturing it. This is the networking equivalent to gently stoking a fire — you’re not trying to make it roar, you just want the warmth to stretch on a little longer. This is something you could/should be doing most days, just to keep your relationships strong. This will also make it much easier as and when you want to reach out to this person with an ask later on.
The next step up on the effort ladder is to send a message to someone you don’t yet know. This could be someone you follow on Instagram, someone whose Substack you read, or someone whose podcast you enjoy. Drop them a 2 line message saying how much you enjoy their content or whatever, and you can give yourself a gold star for starting to develop a new relationship. See, I told you we’d be starting easy. This is something you can do from bed or the couch, so it’s a great habit to develop, ideally on a daily basis.
A little more effort: intro two people
If sending a message to someone is a 1/10 for effort required, this takes us to a 2.5 or 3/10. Introducing two people is a great thing to do, for reasons I explored in last week’s edition, but the TLDR is that it will make people love you and it’s pretty easy to do. The golden rules here:
Make sure you’ve asked both people if you can introduce them to the other.
Check which platform people want you to use: some prefer LinkedIn or email, while others find Instagram or WhatsApp easier — but don’t just go giving out your friends’ numbers to people they don’t know. This is likely against data privacy laws and I don’t have the energy or money to be sued.
Do the hard work for them. I like to write a little message with 2 lines about each person, focusing on why I’m introducing them and what they have in common.
Once you’ve sent the initial intro message you can step back and let them get on with it, but it’s always nice to check in a month or so down the line to see if they managed to connect.
Here’s a real example from a couple of years ago… It literally took me 3 minutes, and positive things always happen when you do nice things for other people (I need all the good karma I can get).
Low-medium effort: Develop a hobby
I spent an unreasonable amount of time trying to decide if this one was low-medium or a solid medium in terms of effort, but landed on low-medium. This is because with a hobby, the primary goal isn’t to expand your network, it’s to enjoy whatever it is you’re doing. If you go to a language class or fashion school or workout class, even if you do zero networking you’ve still picked up a few new phrases in Italian or learned a new sewing technique or whatever you do at these sorts of things. I actually met one of my best friends (and the co-founder of my business Social Capital) at Dutch class, so you really never know where these things will take you.
The good news is that hobbies are cool again, whether you’re into football in Amsterdam (Bia Football Club is iconic), making lucky charms in Berlin, or jogging whilst eating flan.
Medium effort: Go to a curated event
This one snuck on the list because technically it’s more what we’d consider traditional networking, just on the fun end of things. Rather than rocking up to a lecture hall with business cards and a name tag to hand, you’re going to a curated event in an aesthetic setting, ready to meet people in a more lowkey way. And the difference between this and developing a hobby is that you’re going to an event specifically with the intention of meeting new people. Examples include our very own Social Capital events around the world, Club Sup’s dinners, and Service 95’s Book Tastings. You can find all sorts of things on Luma, as well as theme-specific events for everyone from startup founders to activists. Make sure you pick something you’re obviously interested in, and if you want to kill two birds with one stone, bring a friend along and you can catch up at the same time.
High-ish effort: Create a content series
This is one of my favourite sneaky ways of networking: interviewing other people. You can choose whichever platform you want for this — YouTube is great if you can edit videos, Substack works well if you’re a writer, and if you’re somewhere in between, you can go for Instagram or LinkedIn. And yes, if you really think there aren’t already enough podcasts on this earth, you can start a podcast.
Networking via content creation in four easy steps:
Pick a topic and a channel. Make it something that’s somehow relevant to you — for me, I might do a mini interview series about networking on my Substack.
Choose 5-10 people you want to interview. Go for people in your field who are interesting and cool, but who aren’t total long shots. Example: much as I hate to admit it, I don’t think I’ll be interviewing Kris Jenner on Social Currency any time soon.
Send the invite. Keep it succinct and don’t ask for too much of their time. Depending on your chosen format, I like to give people the option of responding to me via email, voicenote, or a quick phone call. If you’re interviewing someone on a podcast or video call, keep it quick, and offer to do something in return, like introduce them to someone you know.
Here’s where it gets really fun: through your content series, you get to connect with your chosen interviewees, have an exchange with them, and maybe even sneak in something about yourself, too. Once your content has been edited and published, make sure you send it to your interviewee with a thank you note. If you then continue to nurture the relationship, you’ll have some really great people in your corner.
High effort: Host an event
Attending events is great for networking, but it’s even better if you’re the host. This is because you become the centre of the event (there is no way to say this without sounding like a narcissist but I hope you get what I mean), the person people go to with questions, and the one who can dictate the energy of the room. Hosting an event isn’t something you can do all the time, because it does require a bit of planning, money, and a lot of energy, but when done right, it can really supercharge your networking without you event realising it.
Example: a while ago, I moved to Paris, and was meeting a bunch of interesting people, but in one-off settings over coffee. I decided to bring everyone together at mine one evening, for a very casual drinks party (we’re talking frozen pizzas and BYO wine). I invited people I knew from school who were living in Paris, friends of friends, people I’d met on Bumble BFF (more on this another time), and everyone who I’d met at an And The Table event the month prior.
To make things even more interesting, I asked everyone to bring a friend with them. Rather than meeting 20+ people individually for coffee, I got to see lots of different people at the same time, while people bonded over everything from Sydney fashion labels to the best pilates studios in the 9th arrondissement. In fact, I enjoyed it so much that I hosted a few follow-up bring-a-friend brunches, all of which were great. If you’ve got the energy, hosting anything from a dinner to a drinks evening is a great way of introducing people to each other whilst seeing everyone who you’ve been meaning to catch up with at once. What’s not to love?
There are lots of way to make this your own. I know one woman who hosts an annual Halloween party which is always the talk of the town. Another friend hosts a legendary lunch for her birthday each year, cooking an Indonesian feast for her friends and anyone who happens to come along. Others have tried the home café TikTok trend, whilst others have hosted book or clothes swaps. Again, all you’re really doing here is meeting and nurturing your relationships, and given we’re in a loneliness epidemic, a bit of socialising is no bad thing.
Next week on Social Currency: get ready for the 100 connections challenge — or, how networking can (maybe) change your life before 2025 is over. See you then!
On the Social Currency Substack, we unpack the art (and science) of connection: from who to meet and how to meet them, to building your own ecosystem and creating those right-place-right-time moments that spark opportunity, whatever your goals in work of life. Expect interviews with people who do it best, practical hacks you can put to work immediately, and recommendations on tools, events, and strategies to grow your own network. In future editions, we’ll cover topics like who exactly to contact, what to say, and how to nurture the relationship over time.
Really enjoying your new Substack Phoebe and absolutely loving the networking approach 🤩
This is brilliant! I'm still stuck in the very low effort phase (because it feels like a lot of effort), but it's so rewarding! Thank you for sharing this in such a structured manner.